It's strange, really. Social sites. And death. I mean, the mix of the two of them. I say this as I wait for funeral arrangements to be posted by Nick Gidmark on his brother Ben's Facebook page. You see, my childhood friend, Ben -- the one who was so proud whenever his snake shed its skin, whom we made fun of for having a "secret kissing spot" behind the bushes of his house when he was a kid -- he died of a heart attack on Monday night, at home, alone. Some friends were waiting on him and were concerned when he didn't show. It's sad. He was a year older than myself.
Ben is one of those guys who had a way with people. He embroidered spirits together with sparkles. He never let anyone get too far away and, when he remembered that he had let you wander too far, he immediately reminded you that he was there and that he cared, and he'd pull your thread closer and weave you back into his fabric. I moved away from his neighborhood when I was still just a kid and didn't really talk to him for years. I'd hear stories of him because he hung out with a number of my friends, but I didn't see him again. Then there was Facebook and we'd send emails or write on each others' walls every so often just to catch up. We always said we'd get a beer sometime when I was home for a visit. And now his Facebook is a page of memories, a wall of graffiti, a quilt of stories of how he touched every single one of the 400 e-friends he has. And that's why you should always keep positive -- so the memory of you that's etched into this world wide web can be written down in history as silly or sweet instead of cold or querulous.
His last FB post was, "Today started off with Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus. All is well and nothing can be ill." And, really, I can't think of a better way to be e-membered. Or is it "iMembered?" I guess it depends if you are Mac or PC.
It's a strange day for me. I've been reminiscent of my childhood for the last 12 hours since I found out about it all because that's where my memories of Ben are woven. I want to think, "Oh, life is so precious," but I've never really thought that. My thoughts have always really bordered on how short and sweet life is. Because life just is... It's like a jar -- some people were handed huge jars and fill them with ugly things, or things that have little density, like soot-covered moth balls, I guess; some people just get small jars which they maybe chose to fill with richness and pack full with to the brim with things they cherish, things they love. We don't know how big of a jar we were dealt until we reach the top and overflow to the heavens. (That was maybe a silly analogy.) But, life just is until it's not. So, why not love until you can't? Why not share, build community, create moments that will far outlast your physical being? Why not?
". . . and throughout the career that will certainly and consistently remind you that we live in a world of too many pieces and not enough glue, I challenge you to be the arms that hold, to be the voice that soothes, and to be that contagious smile. . . " Ben Gidmark
With that, I'll leave you with a video of Ben's commencement address from which the previous quote was drawn, as it inspires and touches.
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